I'm sorry I Love You
by Akatsuki-no-Hikari
Summary: When Mello learns that L, the idol of all the Wammy's children, is coming to the orphanage, the world turns upside down. Meeting the legend is all that is left on his mind. Little does he know, a meeting like none he expected awaits... LxMello shota
1. To See Your Face

bWARNING!: YAOI/SHOUNEN-AI ALERT! DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ!/b

ubI'm Sorry I Love You pt.1/b/u

Today was the day. Finally. How much he had waited for this day to arrive, how much he had longed for it to come, almost drawing "x"s on the calendar's date for each day passed, until it reached the square circled in bright red marker. Almost. He couldn't have let Matt know how much this day meant to him, although the gamer probably already knew. Probably.

He couldn't sleep last night, not a minute, not at all. He had been way too excited to close his eyes, not even one, too agitated to think about relaxing, not even to store some energy for the so awaited day. Even so, that Matt had to tell him to stop grinning like an idiot, that otherwise he would remained in that position forever to make him calm down the slightest bit.

The blonde had gotten up at five in the morning, jumping out of bed like a compressed spring. Sprinting down the corridors to the showers, he paid no mind to the rumbling coming from the kitchens, nor from his stomach; he could worry about breakfast later on. It didn't matter, for now.

He took a burning hot shower to clear up his sleep-deprived mind, couldn't care less about the other orphans who would have only cold water left. He dried himself hastily, passing on a set of clothes he had brought with him, then running out of the steam-filled room like a dashing arrow, right back to his shared bedroom.

Stepping in without a second thought for his sleeping friend, he rushed to their wide mirror and fixed his hair with the most thoughtful meticulousness . Finding himself presentable enough, he spun round and kicked a snoring Matt out of his bed, earning a surprised scream from him.

"Wake up, sleepy ass! You gotta get ready!" Mello nearly yelled as he shook his friend harshly. "C'mon! Get up!".

A pillow collided with his face, making him fell backwards. "For all the good DS games on this earth, Mello! What's your freakin' problem, man? It's six fucking a.m.!" Matt shouted at him, the pillow still in his hands. "What. The fuck. Do you want?".

Mello sat up and dusted himself, ignoring the red head's foul mood. "Nothing, really" he said on an even tone, removing a golden hair from his shoulder. "I just thought you would want to get up early, so you could have mire time to get ready for the day, is all. No need to thank me".

Matt hit him a second time with his pillow square in the face, with enough force to send him to the ground. "So you just woke me up one hour earlier for nothing, is that it?" the gamer growled, straddling the shorter teen's hips, ready to hit him again if need be.

The slightly older boy gave a rather hard kick to his friend's side, so now pinning him down, a wide grin on his face. "Normally, that would be a yes. But today's special. So stop whining and get up! I want to give a good impression!" he said as he rose to his feet, pulling onto Matt's arm to help him up the floor.

"Good impression? To whom? Why?" Matt asked, following Mello to the wall where the calendar proudly hanged. He stared at the squares for a few seconds, and after being slapped at the back of his head by an impatient blonde, he finally understood as he acknowledged the red-marked date as being today's. "Oh...".

"Yeah. Now hurry up. We're the only two that know, so keep it a secret" Mello said throwing the technology freak a stack of clean clothes, and heading to the door.

He walked down the hall in the most casual way, hands in his pants pockets, like if nothing was on his mind, like if life was the same as yesterday, like if nothing big that he was aware of wasn't about to happen.

"iTime to go taunt that brat with what I know, and then tell him nothing! He'll beg me to know, that's for sure!/I" Mello told himself as he slowly made his way to the playroom, where he, without a doubt, would find his rival.

As luck (or normal tendencies) would have it, the blond teen indeed found the albino boy where he expected him to be, building what looked like London with Lego's. where else would he have been, anyways? Near was always the first one there in the morning, and the last one to leave at night, for it would have been useless to stay in a bedroom that wouldn't allow him to rest. Mello never saw the younger boy eat with the other children, never saw him ear at all. Sometimes, the orphanage's number 1 would withdraw un the library, but then again, would be as quickly out as he would be in.

The short-tempered thirteen-year-old sat down crossed-legs in front of Near, on the other side of London. He watched the young genius pile up a few more colourful blocks before getting irritated of the silence, and asked with a smirk dancing on his lips "Do you know what day it is today, Near?".

"The fifth of November" the white-haired orphan replied calmly, not looking up from his miniaturized buildings.

"iIt's going to be so much fun, I can feel it!/I" Mello thought, his smirk growing widely. "And do you know what is going to happen, today?" he asked the younger orphan, his smooth voice hiding a nuance of mischievousness.

"Do you mean besides our daily routine and the fact that L is coming?" Near asked back, fitting a blue block on a yellow one, completing yet another building with the plastic bricks.

The blue-eyed teen stared at him with wide eyes, his hands quickly balling into fists. "How come byou/b know that L is coming?" he nearly shouted at the albino, standing up.

Near shrugged indifferently, piecing two blocks together. "Roger told me" he answered simply, unfazed by Mello's murderous aura.

Mello almost shook in rage. His plan to make the younger boy jealous of the knowledge he would have kept of telling him was ruined! He kicked a Lego skyscraper, the pieces flying across the room and scattering on the floor. "I hate you!" he yelled at the lithe teenager's face, before stomping out of the room.

He hurried down a corridor, uncaring of the closed doors on both side of him behid which he could hide to let out his frustration, heading for his room and nowhere else.

At a corner where another corridor was crossing the one he was following, he bumped into something, someone, going the same way as him. "Can't you fucking watch where you're going, dammit!" he yelled, not even bothering to look up at the taller figure he had just ran into.

"Blond, rather tall for his age, all dressed in black, short-tempered and foul-mouthed" a deep, yet bored-sounding voice said above Mello's head. "By the look of it, there's a 98.7% chance of you being Mello. Am I right, or did I went wrong somewhere?".

Mello froze completely, his sparkling blue eyes, which had held so much fury a moment ago now opening widely in shock. His gaze travelled slowly up, from the nude feet to the blue, baggy jeans, to the long-sleeved white shirt, to finish on the pale face framed by ebony hair. He stared into the black, dead eyes, trying to work words out of his mouth.

"iThat can't be him! That can't be him!/i" the blond teen kept repeating in his mind, over and over, time after time and again. It couldn't be him, and yet, it couldn't be anyone else. From the way the man was standing, hunched over, to the cherry-flavoured lollipop pressed against his thin lips, it had to be him. Even though Mello had never met him, he just could tell that the newcomer was–

"Let's just say you're Mello, alright? Since I'm pretty sure you are, there's no real big difference" the man said, pointing the red lollipop on Mello, the hint of a smile on his lips. "I'm L" he added, before popping the sugary bead in his mouth, the stick poking out.

The blue-eyed boy could only gap at the raven, his body and mind frozen. He could barely blink when L spoke to him again "It seems like we're going the same way, you and I. Do you mind if we walk along?".

Escaping the misty blur that had captured his mind for a few moments, Mello slowly shook his head no. "Alright, then" L smile, resuming his way down the corridor, the blonde quickly running to his level and walking by the tall man's side.

They both remained silent, pacing away as if they were alone since the beginning. They're mismatched footsteps were the only noises hear, which in itself was even more curious than the detective's many quirks, for the wide orphanage was always loud, during day, the quietness of the night often broken by a couple sobs reminding the Wammy's House children why they were there.

The eerie, nearly perfect silence was wrecked and forgotten when the older male rummaged through his jeans pocket to fish out a brand-less chocolate bar, which of he gave half to Mello. The blond orphan opened wide eyes at the offer, taking the half bar from the detective's cold hand, quickly munching on it as he observed from the corner of his eyes the detective engulf his piece of the chocolate bar, licking his fingers and lips clean.

"So... where are you going like that?" Mello heard himself say, all the assurance he had lost while realizing that L was standing next to him finally back. He glanced up at the raven, soon gazing back down at his feet when said raven looked back at him, his empty eyes seeming to look right through him to peer directly at his soul, free to search his every thoughts and secrets.

"I want to see my old room" L declared in his emotionless tone, keeping his black hole eyes fixed on the teen. "It was the second last door to the left" he said, pointing the afore-mentioned door once they turned the corner to have it in sight.

Mello gasped and looked up at the best detective of the current days, meeting with the bottomless gaze. "That's my room!" he said, shock audible in his voice. "Mine and my best friend Matt's!".

"Is that so?" L asked, pressing a thumb to his lips, still staring at intensively at the blonde. "What a strange coincidence".

"Yeah" Mello replied, grabbing the knob and opening the door for both himself and L. "Please try to ignore the mess. Matt and I had a small fight this morning, and forgot to pick after ourselves" he said, scratching the back of his head as a pink blush bloomed on his cheeks.

The sweet-addict stepped into the room, his onyx eyes everywhere at the same time, scrutinizing the place to the last detail. "Nothing has changed" he said after a while, burying his hands in his pockets. "Nothing, except for the second bed. Also that the room seemed bigger when I was a child, but that can be explained by the fact that I was shorter when this was mine" he stated without any emotion, turning around to have a look of the four walls.

"Rogers's cheap when it comes to redecoration" Mello said as he closed the door behind him and locking it to avoid Matt to walk in (or even worse, to avoid bNear/b walking in), then sitting on the edge of his unmade bed, trying his best not to stare at L too much.

"Rogers, hmm? That old friend of Watari's still doing the job, it seems" the twenty-four year old muttered, more to himself than to anyone else to hear, crouching down to the floor with a thumb on his lips.

Mello glanced at the detective a few times before speaking "You can sit on the bed if you want. It's more comfortable than the floor".

The usually loud teen blushed slightly when L gaze back at him, his dull, dark eyes diving into Mello's sparkling blue ones. He soundlessly got up and sat down next to the teen, wrapping his arms around his risen knees. "Even the bed feels the same" he said, bouncing slightly onto the mellow surface that was the mattress of the younger orphan's bed.

"It's not the best bed of all, but it's good enough to sleep on" Mello said, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

The blonde didn't notice L's gaze set on him, for the first time something shining in his eyes usually void of all emotion. He asked with a voice that didn't sound bored at all "bJust/b to sleep on?".

"Wha– Mmph?". Before Mello could realize it, he was trapped beneath the man, his back on the bed and his lips against the raven's.

For the briefest moment he remained completely still, shocked but mostly scared. What was L going to do to him? When he felt long, bony fingers slip under his shirt and a tongue brush against his tightly shut lips, it became obvious to him.

L, his idol, his purpose in life, was about to rape him.

To Be Continued...


	2. The Words of Man

bWARNING!: YAOI/SHOUNEN-AI ALERT! DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ!/b

ubI'm Sorry I Love You pt.2/b/u

Mello tied pushing against the detective's chest with his hands, but it was as pointless as trying to catch a shadow. Seeing his efforts being in vain, he attempted a kick to the pallid male's side, but was easily blocked by the sweet-addict grabbing his ankle with his free hand, pinning the thirteen year old's leg down on the bed.

L licked the golden-blond haired boy's bottom lip, asking for entrance. Receiving no other response than a muffled groan from Mello, he pushed his knee upwards between the younger one's legs, earning a whimper when he pressed his knee against the teen's crotch.

Mello felt the quirky man slip his tongue hastily in his mouth as soon as he parted his lips. L's moist appendage brushed against every corner and gave full attention to each crevice, before massaging his own tongue with his.

The blue-eyed teen had a furious desire yo bite down hard on the man's tongue, but at the same time, didn't want to. He knew he could never hurt his idol, the kick he had thrown earlier was only meant for defence, or at least, that's what he blinded himself to believe. And besides all those thoughts that were avoiding him of pushing the raven off him, the delicious taste of chocolate left on L's tongue was like nothing else he had ever savoured...

"iWake up!/I". Despite everything he had just mentioned to himself, it was not going to make his mind flinch: he would not let the older man do these things to him without fighting back. He tried once again pushing against the detective's chest, but was cut in his movement when his dark shirt was passed over his head, for a moment breaking the kiss L had been working on him for the last minute.

Taking advantage of the distraction, the pale genius straddled the young orphan's hips, bending down to nip and kiss his neck and shoulders, leaving slight bite marks in their wake. Noticing that Mello only squirmed and pushed harder against him when he attacked his neck, he sighed and grabbed the boy's wrists, quickly tying them to the bed's headboard with the blonde's discarded shirt.

"I'm sorry it has to be that way, Mello" the sweet lover said, brushing with a deadly cold thumb one of the two twin trails of tears running down the teenager's face. "If only you'd cooperate..." he added, a hint of sadness in his voice as Mello turned his head away from his touch, his baby-blue eyes screwed shut.

L bent down once more, resuming his previous ministrations on the boy, now focussing his efforts on his define collarbone and slightly-toned chest. He kissed the tender, silky skin beneath his lips, roaming his hands along Mello's sides and smooth stomach, lightly grazing his waist line with his long fingers, his freezing touches sending shivers to crawl up the other's spine and every nerve.

Another whimper escaped Mello's now red lips, protesting against all the mixed sensations he was feeling within himself. In this fight being battled inside this body he couldn't entirely command anymore, fear met curiosity, disgust met want, and later on, pain would meet need.

Again, soft but rigid lips captured his own, cutting short his already rarified by panting supply of oxygen. Slowly, he could see his world surrender to the comforting darkness of sleep, away from what he had thought being his most important purpose in life, far from L. Just as he thought being now gone and out of reach, he was roughly brought back when the air flooded back to his aching lungs. He choked and gasped for more, now free of the detective's suffocative embrace.

Once Mello recovered his breath, he realized that his pants were already off his body, discarded somewhere on the floor of his own bedroom, along with his undergarment. L had also gotten rid of his shirt, throwing it carelessly behind him before running his bony fingers down the panting teenager's lower navel.

"P-please... don't..." the thirteen year old pleaded, turning his face to the side as a gasp threatened to escape his lips when the tall man grazed more sensitive skin with his icy cold fingertips.

Never removing his hand from Mello's already hardened flesh, the obsidian-eyed man gently cupped the side of his face and brought it to his, kissing his lips softly. "I'm sorry" he repeated against the frightened blonde's lips, caressing his smooth cheek with one of his fingers.

L continued planting feather-like kisses on the teen's lips, nothing more than brushing them with his own before leaning down oh so slightly. Surprisingly, Mello didn't pull up a fight against the raven's actions, but didn't seem to comply either. It was as if kissing a corpse... a hot, panting, sweaty and hard corpse.

The ebony-haired genius glided his fingers over Mello's arousal, to press down with a single bony digit on a hollow spot besides the base of the boy's member, earning the first moan out of him. A smirk settled down on his lips as he locked them firmly on the teen's, dimming other pleasurable noises coming from the blue-eyed orphan as he allowed his hand to pump Mello painfully slowly.

Mello didn't notice the older male's tongue pushing past his lips, dying as he was trying to make sense of all the sensations L could make him feel. He moaned louder with each stroke from the pallid man, trying to buck his hips into his hand to get more of the pleasing friction, but the weight the man was putting on his legs was preventing him of doing so. And at the same time, he wanted to run away, so, so badly; to push the quirky detective off himself and never give a second thought on his actions, to abandon his dream and leaving L's successor's place to Near. The albino boy could have it, if it meant having to bear the sweet-lover's games.

In a fraction of second, everything stopped and vanished; the charge on his legs, the hand on his burning flesh, the mouth on his own; everything. But as soon as they were gone, something else came. He didn't realize at first that his hips were being lifted, or that some hand was spreading his legs. All he did realize was that a narrow, bony and cold finger was being shoved into him, and that even though it hurt, it wasn't that bad at all...

A moan escaped Mello, who couldn't tell if it was from pleasure or pain, but it didn't matter. He simply knew that he didn't want it to end. That last statement was only confirmed to him when L pulled his finger out to thrust it back in, getting a more needy moan out of him. His toes curled in pain behind the dark-eyed man's back, and his head jerked to the side as a wave of pleasure shot through his sweat-covered body.

L thrust his finger in and out a few more times before inserting a second digit, then a third one, muffling Mello's sharp yelps of pain with all the "sorry"s his mouth could pull out. He didn't stop stretching the blonde whatsoever, only taking his fingers back when he felt that the boy was ready to receive him... or, at least, when his body was.

Mello let a small whimper break his breathing when the pale man removed his fingers from him, not knowing if it was of relief, or if he already missed the delightful pain. He wasn't allowed the time to wonder too much on the subject, for next thing to happen blew his rational thinking away.

A scream and a moan blended together through the heated air of the room as L pushed himself into the boy, a mouthful of "I'm sorry" pouring from his lips crisped into an unclassifiable look. The slightly pink-tinted light from the now completely set morning broke through the windows and its pale curtains, landing on their both panting forms, reflecting itself onto the beads of perspiration pearling on their skin and the fresh tears running down Mello's face.

The raven recovered his senses sooner than the lithe teenager, lost somewhere between pain and bliss, and kissed the youngster's tears away with infinite tenderness, as if he was afraid of breaking his porcelain features. This seemed to calm the blond orphan, turning his pained and laboured breathing into soft moans and pants. They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, waiting to no avail for a glimpse of hesitation to flash across the vivid blue eyes of the dull black ones.

As the instant of a few breaths passed, a common agreement was exchanged between the two males, nothing more than an almost unnoticeable squirming, a slight twitch at the corner of their lips, but that meant more than the world itself, so much more. To Mello, it symbolized his entire life, gambled on his tiniest reaction to the detective's actions, while for L, it represented acceptance, and the whole new feeling that had manifested itself inside himself when he had first seen the teenager.

The sweet-addict nodded and pulled out almost completely to thrust into the blonde again, burying himself to the hilt with a moan. Mello uttered a small cry at the intrusion, but welcomed the pain, and everything that came with it; the electrifying sensation that crawled up his spine, the pleasure building up in the pit of his stomach, and the innumerable apologies, always he same three words, the tall man whispered to his ear while kissing his neck softly.

Pulling away from the young orphan's tender flesh, L stared into the bright blue eyes, blurred by a mix of pain and pleasure, lust and tears. He let a smile spread on his lips and bent down to lay a soft, comforting kiss onto Mello's forehead. Meanwhile, he untied the short-tempered boy's wrists, who immediately brought his hands to the quirky genius's shoulders, digging his nails into the pale skin slightly, a reflex to the suffering he had to bear.

L didn't mind the shallow holes the teen's nails would leave, instead smiled softly at him and kissed the tip of his nose as he held his slim hips firmly in place. He thrust back in gently, trying to minimize the pain for the blonde until he got accustomed to the feeling. He repeated the motion a few more times, his efforts meeting less and less resistance with each thrust, gaining moans from them both.

When the moans and crystal clear cries he got from Mello grew louder, lustful, almost sinful, he began ramming into him, another hundred of "I'm sorry" escaping him. Mello's hold on him only tightened, the nails sinking in his shoulders perforating the snow white skin and drawing minute pearls of bright, crimson blood, as he moaned louder for all Heaven's to hear.

The raven gave the thirteen year old what he hoped being a somewhat soothing smile, hiding under layer over layer of want, lust and longing, although he knew Mello wouldn't see it behind his closed eyelids. He released one of the boy's hips and gently wrapped his now free arm around his back, never stopping to pound hardly into him. He brought the younger genius in a sitting position, rocking his hips and slamming the blond teen's down in time to keep up with the steady rhythm he had built.

Mello opened wide, surprised-looking eyes at the sudden change in position, and let go of the detective's shoulders to enlace his arms around L's neck, bringing his body impossibly closer to the other, older orphan's. he breathed out a deformed moan as he felt himself being impaled further down into the dark-eyed man's stiffened member, reaching farther into him to places he never knew could hurt so good.

Feeling that he wouldn't hold on much longer, and noticing that the teenager wouldn't be able to either, L started aiming for that spot within the slightly-tanned blonde, that would make him see white and lose all ability to think straight. He increased his pace, holding the impetuous boy's hips to help him up and down, while said boy moved his hands upwards to grab two handfuls of midnight sky hair, clutching it like if his life depended on it, as he moaned huskily into the man's ear, stirring up the burning fore roaring in their lower stomaches.

It took one powerful and accurate hit to Mello's sweet spot to drive him over the edge, therefore bringing the sweet lover with him to the ecstatic heights as all the muscles of his lithe body tensed at once. They both screamed a distorted version of each other's name when euphoria washed over them, the younger one exploding on their abdomens, as he felt a second afterwards L's seed fill him until it dripped in white streaks out of him.

For the following moment, the same eerie silence as before occupied the room, the only noises disturbing it being the shallow breaths and gaping pants the two were struggling to catch. Remained the quietness and peace the afterglow brings, drawing Mello slowly into a deep and dreamless slumber that could almost stand its own against death itself, resting his head on the detective's shoulder and growing limp from exhaustion and rapture.

L smiled tiredly and softly lifted the sleeping blonde's hips, gently pulling out of him with a light groan. He laid the unconscious teen down on the bed, caressing his smooth cheek lovingly, wiping away the last remaining tears. He bent down, leaning over Mello's resting body and laid the softest kiss on his lips.

He pulled away gently, and murmured against the boy's lips, the most delicious taste of chocolate that was all Mello's quickly spreading in his "I'm sorry I love you...".

~Owari~


End file.
